woman looking happily into her reflection

How to Challenge Negative Self-Talk and Find Inner Peace

Identifying negative thinking and achieving inner peace and happiness

If you struggle with negative self talk and wonder how to change it, this post can be your starting point for understanding how to deal with and respond to those negative inner thoughts. Having an inner critic is part of being a human, and at times it can be helpful (like when you are indulging in something that might not be healthy for your mind or body). However, if that voice turns out to be more harmful than helpful, if you notice excessive negativity and it creates significant stress, then that inner critic might be limiting you and making you doubt your every move, making life painful and unfulfilling.

Fortunately, there are some good news. The fact that you are reading this post, means you are aware of those limiting beliefs and negative thoughts going through your mind, and that is the first step in dealing with them. Not noticing the negative train of thought can lead to a spiral of damaging thoughts and emotions. By noticing them, we are able to contain them and deal with them. There are many different ways of trying to minimize negative self talk, and I will be listing the ones I found helpful in my own experience.

By dealing with our inner critic, noticing when it is being destructive and working on challenging those negative thoughts, we are heading towards a place of self-compassion and love. I like to refer to that place as my inner peace – a state of spiritual calm despite the potential presence of stressor. Sounds like a wonderful place to be, doesn’t it?

6 tips to try out in order to minimize negative self talk and work on building inner peace:

Stand up to your inner bully

Challenge that negative self talk and stand up to your inner bully. One of the biggest issues with negative self talk is that nobody stands up to it and question its validity, and those thoughts go unchallenged. Just imagine someone said those things to someone you love, what would you say to them? Now act as if they did say that to someone you love, and defend yourself. Be to yourself who you are to those you love.

Ask for help

See a professional. If things seem too hard, don’t wait for it to get worse. Asking for help makes you stronger. Therapy can be helpful for everyone, and you do not have to wait for things to get unbearable. A mental health professional can help you understand and explore your relationship with yourself, understand yourself better. Therapy can lead the way towards healing and creating a better home in your mind.

Live according to your values

Determine your values and act accordingly. Why is this important? When we don’t live according to our values, we can’t be entirely happy and content with our lives. This does not mean live blindly according to something, but that your general direction through life should follow your inner values. Once you start living in alignment, life shifts in the most beautiful of ways. You stop holding on to the things that no longer serve you and reach within yourself for whatever you may need. Living in alignment brings inner peace – and it all starts with you asking yourself “What is important to me and how do I want to live my life?”.

Set boundaries with others

Set firm boundaries with other people. Don’t give your energy to them. Avoid those that stress you out and bring negativity into your life. Surround yourself with supportive people you are able to depend on to give you helpful advice, having your best interest at heart. Choose those that bring light into your life, not darkness, and be that person for them too.

Practice self compassion

You will not always get everything right, and that is okay. You don’t work towards perfection, you work towards progress. Wherever you currently are, accept yourself. Accept that you needed more or less time for some things and that you might even change your mind along the way. You are doing your best and that is enough. Give yourself a hug (a physical one, just try it, trust me) and forgive yourself. Remember: failing at something is a normal part of being human. This does not mean that you are a failure, but that you simply failed at something. Take that experience as a lesson and ask yourself – what is it that I can learn from this?

Take good care of your whole self

Exercise, eat nourishing food to fuel your body and mind, and learn how to deal with stress in a healthy way. Create healthy evening and morning routines to help better your sleep and manage your energy throughout the day. Following a more healthy lifestyle can have a huge impact on your overall well-being. Exercising can positively affect your mood, along with a healthy diet which will energize your body and give it the necessary fuel.

These tips are aimed at those wishing to improve their general well-being. However, if you are overwhelmed by your negative self talk, feel like you cannot cope, you should seek help right away. Ask help from a health professional, and/or call your local hotline.

With love and compassion,

Common Unicorn

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4 Ways To Handle Intrusive People - A person typing a response on a laptop

How To Deal With Invasive And Nosy People

4 Ways To Handle Intrusive People | Setting Your Boundaries Today

Who are we talking about here? They are those who ask inappropriate and private questions like “why don’t you have kids” or “when will you get married”. Those who give unsolicited advice and opinions. The ones you’ll catch gossiping every chance they get. Whether it is a nosy relative, an overly curious colleague asking a way to personal question, or a friend crossing boundaries and invading your privacy, dealing with difficult situations and reacting properly to nosy people takes time and practice. Don’t worry though, because if you are looking for tips on dealing with nosy people with intrusive questions, you are in the right place

I had my fair share of those interactions, and I like to think I’ve found a way to deal with those situations. Our reactions and how we handle them also depend on what the relationship with that person means to us, and if we wish to keep it.

Depending on the nature of the relationship, here is how you can respond to invasive behaviour:

1. Understand they are using that behavior to hide their own insecurities

This first step is for you to understand it was probably never that much about you, as it was a tool for them to deflect, focus on others instead of their own insecurities. I am not making excuses for them and that doesn’t make that behaviour okay, it is simply what I use to have a less emotional reaction and to, frankly, care less. It actually works, and that’s the whole point here – how you react and feel when encountered with those situations and people.

2. With kindness make them realize their intrusive actions

This one seems almost controversial, as the social norm isn’t often to be direct. But some people may not even be aware of their intrusive behaviour, and if you gently communicate your discomfort, you can clearly state your boundaries. If this seems too direct for you, you can start by practicing indirect ways of letting them know they are being intrusive (through a joke, or by letting them know that was a strange thing to ask).

3. Practice generic answers to common questions

This one is for those mainstream, but very personal questions some people just feel entitled to ask you, like “why don’t you have kids yet”, etc. If those questions are asked by people you barely know simply practice a generic, non-revealing answer, or even use deflection (and change the subject if you find a way), and avoid the question entirely.

4. Let them know how you feel

I practice this reaction when the questions are too personal, but the person asking it is someone close. For example, when my mom asks some of the above questions, I let her know how that makes me feel. I do this when I wish to maintain the relationship with the person asking it, and I feel comfortable enough to tell her how that makes me feel. They usually get it, and it helps our relationship.

Handling Difficult Situations With Nosy People

There are a lot more ways to deal with these situations, and you probably have some of your own. If you’d like to find out more ways of dealing with these situations, I did some digging and here are my top picks:

Please let me know if you found some of these ways useful, and if you’d add something else to the list. Also, you can check out the 5 steps I took to awaken the badass within, empowerment is always a good thing.

Don’t forget to subscribe with your email to stay in touch and get the latest!

With love,

Common Unicorn

If you enjoyed this read, subscribe to my mailing list so I can keep you updated with the latest posts, regular freebies, amazing opportunities, exclusive discounts and more. Also, by joining the list, you receive right away for FREE the amazing 30 Day Self-Care Challenge and a Printable Calendar!

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